Start Seeing Diversity Blog: "We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

I remember a time, while in the grocery store witnessing an adult reprimand a child after she pointed out someone that she saw as different due to the woman’s physical appearance.  A young girl was walking with her mother down the aisle.  An obese woman walked in front of her and bend over to select her chosen item.  The young girl told her mother, ‘’Mommy that lady has a fat butt!’’.  The young girl’s mother replied, ‘’You will not talk like that! I am so sorry for my rugrat.  Cindy that is so rude for you to say that about that woman.  We don’t talk like that!’’.  The obese woman did not respond.  Cindy’s mother grabbed her arm firmly and left the store.

After observing this interaction, I noticed that Cindy’s mother sent her a message that her comments were not going to be tolerated due to the mother’s embarressment.  The obese woman’s lack of a response did not communicate any message to Cindy due to her lack of verbal response.  I also didn’t notice any none verbal cues given by the obese woman.  It was as if she did not her or chose not to listen. 

An anti-bias educator might respond to this situation in a different manner than Cindy’s mother by telling her ‘’yes baby… we all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors’’; and then tell the obese woman ‘’Children…and the things they say.  I am so sorry.  She doesn’t mean any harm’’.  Young children do not say malice comments intentionally.  They are using their words to describe their environment which can be embarrassing at times for us adults because we understand what is considered socially appropriate.