Saturday, August 17, 2013

Observing Communication

       While in the grocery store, I noticed a mother talking to her 4ish year old son.  The mother was holding up options for her son to choose from.
                
                Mother: would you like to have honey nut cheerios or fruit loops?
              
                Son: I want fruit loops please
   
    Mother: really…are you sure? The cheerios are a healthier choice. Honey nut cheerios are sweet       too.
                
                Son: no mommy! I want fruit loops.  I like the green ones!
               
                Mother: I am getting you the cheerios because they are healthier for you.

    Son: (falls on the ground kicking and screaming) I want the greens ones!!  I want the green ones       mommy!!

    Mother: Joseph! We are not getting fruits loops!  Get off the ground!  1…2…

    Son:  (stands up sobbing) I want the green ones (walks away holding onto grocery cart)

I noticed during my observation that the mother gave the boy a choice and then took his choice away because she was not happy with the boy’s choice.  As a result, the boy began tantruming.  It appeared as if the boy was tantruming because he did not get what he wanted after being asked.  I learned that it is important to empower children to make their own choices when given one as well as it is important to ‘’stick to your word’’.  As adults, children will feel safe and secure in an environment that is consistent and predictable.  I believe if the mother would have either not given her son a choice or if she granted his choice would have elevated the unwanted tantrum because her son would have known what to expect. In addition, after giving her son a choice the mother did not listen to his response.  According to Alison Stephenson, author of the article Steeping Back to Listen to Jeff Conversations with a 2-Year-Old, when interacting with children ‘’Listening is paramount. I found that how I listened governed what I heard. When I consciously stepped back from the interaction, from my own expectations of what I might hear, and listened with an attitude of respect, with openness, and in the anticipation that I might hear answers to questions that had not been asked’’ (Stephenson, 2009). The outcome of the interaction between mother and son could have been different if the mother would have listen to her son because then she could have asked her son questions about cereal which may have influenced him to make the expected healthier choice of cereal on his own.  Providing children with opportunities to express their feelings influences their developing self-worth which then allows children to feel like a valued member in their family.  At first, the mother provided her son with opportunity to develop his self-worth by asking which cereal he wanted.  However, when she took his choice away the mother may have made her son feel like his opinion held no worth.  Involving children while grocery shopping provides them the opportunity to feel involved in the nutritional choices made for the family which then ultimately makes them a valued member in the family structure. 
Concluding this week’s assignments, I feel that I have learned to value the power of listening to children.  At times, I find that I get so caught up in my interactions with children that I take over the learning experience instead of listening to their thoughts and building upon their ideas.  Through listening we can obtain valuable information about the children we serve which will then influence the quality of their learning experience.  I can improve my listening skills by focusing on the children instead of my personal ideas by asking children thought probing questions instead of using statements. 

Reference

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site

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