While in the grocery store, I noticed a mother talking to
her 4ish year old son. The mother was
holding up options for her son to choose from.
Mother:
would you like to have honey nut cheerios or fruit loops?
Son: I
want fruit loops please
Mother: really…are you sure? The cheerios
are a healthier choice. Honey nut cheerios are sweet too.
Son: no
mommy! I want fruit loops. I like the
green ones!
Mother:
I am getting you the cheerios because they are healthier for you.
Son: (falls on the ground kicking
and screaming) I want the greens ones!!
I want the green ones mommy!!
Mother: Joseph! We are not getting
fruits loops! Get off the ground! 1…2…
Son: (stands up sobbing) I want the green ones
(walks away holding onto grocery cart)
I noticed during my observation
that the mother gave the boy a choice and then took his choice away because she
was not happy with the boy’s choice. As
a result, the boy began tantruming. It
appeared as if the boy was tantruming because he did not get what he wanted
after being asked. I learned that it is
important to empower children to make their own choices when given one as well
as it is important to ‘’stick to your word’’.
As adults, children will feel safe and secure in an environment that is
consistent and predictable. I believe if
the mother would have either not given her son a choice or if she granted his
choice would have elevated the unwanted tantrum because her son would have
known what to expect. In addition, after giving her son a choice the mother did
not listen to his response. According to
Alison Stephenson, author of the article Steeping
Back to Listen to Jeff Conversations with a 2-Year-Old, when interacting with
children ‘’Listening is paramount. I found that how I listened governed what I
heard. When I consciously stepped back from the interaction, from my own
expectations of what I might hear, and listened with an attitude of respect,
with openness, and in the anticipation that I might hear answers to questions
that had not been asked’’ (Stephenson, 2009). The outcome of the interaction
between mother and son could have been different if the mother would have
listen to her son because then she could have asked her son questions about
cereal which may have influenced him to make the expected healthier choice of
cereal on his own. Providing children with
opportunities to express their feelings influences their developing self-worth which
then allows children to feel like a valued member in their family. At first, the mother provided her son with
opportunity to develop his self-worth by asking which cereal he wanted. However, when she took his choice away the
mother may have made her son feel like his opinion held no worth. Involving children while grocery shopping
provides them the opportunity to feel involved in the nutritional choices made
for the family which then ultimately makes them a valued member in the family
structure.
Concluding this week’s assignments,
I feel that I have learned to value the power of listening to children. At times, I find that I get so caught up in
my interactions with children that I take over the learning experience instead
of listening to their thoughts and building upon their ideas. Through listening we can obtain valuable
information about the children we serve which will then influence the quality
of their learning experience. I can
improve my listening skills by focusing on the children instead of my personal ideas
by asking children thought probing questions instead of using statements.
Reference
Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC:
Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the
Education Research Complete database.
http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site
